A glance too late
by GlitterSnowQueen
Summary: A one sided Lucian love story. He never looked at her unless it was dire circumstances. She had a plan to make him glance at her one last time...Even if it were to kill her.
1. Chapter 1

A glance too late

A/N: So I'm really into the chronicles of Narnia right now and my favorite pairing is Caspian and Lucy. So this just a little oneshot of a one sided Lucian love. PS: It is extremely angsty and has character death/suicide. I OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOT!

Summary: He only looked her way under dire circumstances. Well she had a plan that would make him glance at her one last time.

She loved him, she loved him and he chose a star. Someone who couldn't be with him the exact way she could. Was something wrong with her? She knew she was no Susan but surely she wasn't that ugly. Her long goldish hair hung about 5 inches below her shoulders, her fair skin a little dark now and her bright blue eyes shone now more than ever. Still he barely ever looked her way and when he did it was in the same fashion that of Peter and Edmund. She sighed and looked over the edge of the balcony to see the King Caspian dancing with her now bride, Ramandu's daughter. She closed her eyes and let a single tear fall and tried to pretend seeing them together wasn't really this painful. That she didn't secretly wish it was her he snuck off to see late at night. That she didn't see the faint blush that would creep up the girl's cheek when Caspian whispered in her ear. When they were all seated she let a few tears fall as she saw Caspian looking at his bride with such love and adoration she thought her heart and physically snapped in two. He didn't even glance her way when she excused herself for the night. Didn't ask if she was alright like the others had when they noticed her tear stained cheeks. So here she sat on a little bench at the top of the foyer. She chuckled dryly thinking over the events that had taken place over the past few hours and reached for the dagger that lay beside her. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, asked Aslan to pass forgiveness on her damaged soul. The dagger clanked to the floor and the former Queen of Narnia fell down the stairs with not a hair out of place. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the tears coming out of the noble king's eyes as he ran over and held her in his arms. Sobbing loudly along with the rest of her family members. She smiled to herself softly before feeling the pulling of her soul from her body. Caspian had given her a glance just a few years too late.


	2. Peter's life afterwards

A/N: Okay so I'm going to have a chapter for Peter, Susan, Edmund and Caspian about how Lucy's suicide had affected them.

Peter Pov

Lucy, my baby sister was gone. I knew something had been bothering her but hadn't taken the time to figure out what. Now I would never know because she was just like a china doll now. No life, no breathing, but still undeniably beautiful. Still crying I took her in my arms and carried her up to her room. Susan undressed her and cleaned the blood off. She took and needle and some thread stitching up the jagged edge the blade had left in Lucy's flawless skin. She put another dress on her, a midnight blue one that would have showed off her eyes so perfectly. Not being able to look at them any longer without the sparkle and life they once held I gently leaned over and pushed them closed. There, now it looked like the Valiant Queen had a peaceful death in her sleep. I stood there a little longer wishing to memorize her every feature. Noticing a few of her gold locks had fallen into her face I pushed them aside and kissed her cheek. Sleep in peace little sister, May Aslan watch over your soul. And one day you watch over ours until it's time for us to join you.

Susan was in hysterics, she couldn't grasp the fact that Lucy was gone. Her sweet and innocent little sister had ended her life. Edmund sat in the corner attempting to comfort our grieving sister but he wasn't much better off. Edmund had been the closest to Lucy and I knew he would find some way to blame himself for what had happened. Taking a deep breath and wiping my cheeks I came all the way out of her room and looked around for Caspian. He just sat on the bench Lucy had sat on and stared at the ground. If anyone knew why she had done this it would be him.

"Do you…do you know why she did this?" He looked up at me and then I noticed he was far worse off than the rest of us. He looked like his soul had been ripped from him and all that was left was his body. I knew that look, he had loved Lucy. He had loved Lucy and he had chosen Ramandu's daughter over her. "You loved her." He nodded and went back to looking at the ground. It was then I noticed his Queen was no where to be seen. "Where is your Queen?"

"Seeing as how she did not know Lucy very well she thought it best if she left us alone." I nodded, and looked towards Susan who was now crouching by the doorway crying. I'm guessing she had gone in to see Lucy's well…body. We would never get over what happened but she would want us to move on from this.

***2 years later***

It's become impossible to even try and hold a conversation with Susan. After a bout of hysterics at church mum and dad had her confined to a mental asylum. She said she could see little Lucy, that she came to see her everyday. That Lucy spoke of Aslan's country and how she wished we could be there with her. One the last day I saw Susan she told me of how she wanted to go flying with Lucy. That she reminded her of the fairy tinker bell and all she had to do was believe like little Wendy. The next day a letter came for me it only had five letters but it broke my heart all the same. _I'm flying with Lucy now._ I knew before anyone called to tell me. I had lost both of my beloved sisters due to heartache and pain.


	3. Susan's life afterwards

Susan Pov

The little girl I had practically raised, my little Lucy was gone. It was like I was stuck in some kind of haze between reality and when she was here. I would have these very odd moments when I swear I could see her before me smiling and giggling just as she had. The little 17 year old, innocent little girl was back. It was at her funeral that everyone dubbed my crazy and in a major depression. Everyone was sobbing over the beautiful little girl's body. I faintly heard someone murmuring don't cry, and I'm right here. I turned and saw Lucy; she was wearing the same dress she had…killed herself in. I called her name loudly, running over to where she stood. _"Stop it Susan, no one else can see me, you're the only one." _Like that she had vanished; I called her name again and again repeatedly wanting her to answer me.

"_Stop this Susan; you're making a fool of yourself. Lucy's gone; she's been gone for the past week."_ I rounded on my mother and slapped her hard across the face, she wasn't gone. Lucy was still here why couldn't they see her?! The next morning I woke up and saw several people and they all had white on. I knew what was going on, they thought I was crazy. I kept shaking my head and I tried to run away but Peter held me tightly. I bit and clawed and scratched but to no avail.

"_I'm not crazy!"_ I repeated over and over again, tears streaming down my face the entire time. I said that over and over again the first few months I was at Bergins. For awhile everything seemed okay, I didn't see Lucy anymore and Peter came to visit me quite often. Then one night she returned telling me of Aslan's country, which is where she was. That she wished Peter, Edmund and I were with her.

The next day Peter came I told him about my dream but I knew he thought I was crazy as well. He laughed and ruffled my hair just like old times. _"Figures she would come back to see you Susan."_ I knew he only agreed with me so it didn't upset me more. I had seen Lucy flying around my room one time and it reminded me of the fairy off Peter Pan. Peter was the only one I told about wanting to fly like my little sister.

Then one night she came back and was sitting on my window sill. I told her I wanted to come with her. She smiled and helped me into the ledge and gave me a piece of paper and a pen. _I'm flying with Lucy now._ I put it down and looked at her expectantly. _"All you have to do is believe Susan."_ I took one step and then another, finally I was flying. A smile on my face the whole time. Even when I felt cold pain but it soon left when I saw the sight before me. Aslan was standing in the middle of a beautiful field with Lucy.

"I missed you Susan, welcome home." I smiled and looked all around, I was home with Lucy. Finally the way things were supposed to be. I figured Peter and Edmund would be along soon enough. I didn't want to rush them though.

'Home."


	4. Edmund's life afterwards

A/N: okay I'll have Edmund's, then Liliandil and lastly Caspian's. Yes I save the best for last so you'll get over it.

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!

Edmund Pov:

You know people can say I know how it feels, or I understand what you're going though. And maybe in a sense they do, they've lost someone dear to them at some point in time, so they know what it feels like to lose a loved one. They don't know what it feels like to see their sister kill themselves, knowing they could have done something to stop it. They don't know what it feels like to want to wring a King and Queen's neck because they are essentially the reason for Lucy's suicide. A king who was so blinded by a pretty face he couldn't see that she couldn't compare to Lucy. People say time makes things easier, that with time the memories start to fade. They'll never go away oh no, you'll always have that pain. But eventually you'll be able to put some of that pain away in order to move on with your life. Peter has, he's married and has two daughters now. Emily Susan, and Catherine Lucy. He acts as if it's nothing more than a bad dream, I can't even mention their names without him wanting to change the subject. I suppose others will say I have moved on as well, seeing as how I have taken my own wife, and she is expecting a child soon. But what about the people that can't move past heartbreak, are we to forget their pain? To forget why they are no longer with us and therefore make their death shame, something that isn't worth remembering? Lucy couldn't move on, she was only 17. Never having felt heart break before, and when it was this severe who could expect her not tu hurt? And after carrying that hurt around for nearly two years would not expect her to want to end the pain? And Susan, who swore up and down she could see little Lucy. She wasn't given the option to forget because she was haunted by Lucy, how can you forget when you see the person you're trying to forget everyday? Some say Lucy's suicide was an attempt to get attention gone wrong. And some say Susan's been crazy all along and this was just something for us to fall back on.. I say they both had pain to great to deal with, they weren't cowards, they were brave. Brave to end the pain the way most people would only talk of but never do. And so I try not to spend all my time mourning for something that happened almost five years ago. But I do not shut them away in a box inside my mind like Peter has done. I just simply remember the way they were before we went to Narnia. Before Aslan, the White Witch, and Caspian. Back to England when we could all be happy. Back when they were still alive.

A/N; Whoa, deep thoughts coming from Edmund, should say how upset he is. Up next Liliandil! (Be warned she isn't very nice in hers)


	5. Liliandil's life afterwards

A/N: So now only Liliandil and Caspian left. Evil me is saving Caspian for last and It'll be the longest out of all of them, even Lucy's. Hope you all enjoy and please review for me, Loves!

Liliandil Pov

The young Queen was gone, gone from both our world and hers how…tragic. Of course I say that but I can't help but feel a small sense of reassurance in mine and Caspian's marriage. I knew he was attracted to the youngest Queen of Old and with her gone, well it was a pretty much lock and hid the key kind of marriage. I did feel bad for him though; he had lost one of his best friends and close enough to be considered a family member. He moped around the castle, busying himself with this and that to put as much space between himself and others as possible. Under normal circumstances I would ask Reepicheep to speak with him but seeing as how he is no longer here it seems as if I will be the one trying to get him to come to bed and not stay in other various rooms of the castle. Huh, he wasn't in his study or in the gardens and I had checked every other room except…Queen Lucy's room. Turning and heading for her chamber I walked determined to keep my head up and not back down like I had so many times before. I tried opening it and realized it was locked. …Caspian never locked it, I pulled and tugged at the door knob but it was no use. Just as I turned away from the door to go and get someone to open it I heard a loud thud. The guards looked at me at the same moment and the broke the door down. Running inside and seeing no sign of him I tried the bathroom that was connected to her bedroom. The first thing I noticed as the broken glass everywhere on the floor, holding my hand up I signaled for the guards to stay put in there. Walking a little further in the sight brought me to my knees. Caspian lay there on the floor, dead from the wound caused by the glass. I had loved him, I really had and even though I never showed that it would, his passing hurt me more than I could ever express. I don't know how long I sat there crying next to him. Begging and pleading for him to wake up and that everything would be fine, that I would be a better wife and Queen to him. I knew it was stupid though, even if he were alive he would turn a deaf ear to me, because I would never measure up to Queen Lucy in his eyes. A guard escorted me back to my chambers and once I was in there a lady handed me a folded up piece of paper.

_I had to be with her again Liliandil, I'm sorry, forgive me._

_-Caspian_

Feeling a new batch of tears coming I crumpled up the letter and threw it across the room. The Valiant Queen had beaten me; even in death she was more wanted and desired by every man than I ever would be. She had won Caspian's heart, and consequently his life.


	6. Caspian's life afterwards

A/n: Okay last chapter for a glance too later. I wanna thank everyone that has reviewed it made me so very, very happy. Sorry for those who were upset by me making Liliandil a jerk just had to be for the story. Well here's Caspian's side of the story, so enjoy

Disclaimer: I own nothing but this story I made up

Caspian

Stupid, that's exactly what I was. Now I'm a lot of things but stupid is probably at the top of everyone's lists, including mine. Lucy had loved me, the little girl that had helped me defeat my uncle, helped find the seven Lords had loved me. And I shoved her away for another pretty face. Peter thinks it was just because Liliandil was so pretty I chose her instead, and even though that's far from the truth that's what he needs to think. The truth is I was scared she would be taken from me and never return to Narnia. Thinking now I know Aslan wouldn't let me marry her if he was just going to whisk her away. Why couldn't I have figured that out then? So instead I pretended I didn't see the tears Lucy got in her eyes every time she saw me with Liliandil. That I really knew she knew where I went when I said I needed to be alone. Hell I didn't even go after her when she was crying her eyes out at the feast. I had played the part of the love sick fool, and had played it very well.

Seeing Lucy lying there, in a pool of blood…her blood just made me want to jump off the ledge of a wall. Then I remembered Liliandil was watching and I couldn't behave as if she was anything more than a lost friend. Because in reality that's all she had been, was a friend. I watched as Susan picked her up and carried her to her room, waited with Edmund and Peter while she stitched her up and redressed her. Peter went in first and when he came back out he looked as if he himself had caused her death. He looked around before his eyes settling on mine and he knew, he knew I loved her. And he was going to give me Hell for it.

"You loved her." I looked up in his eyes and wanted to kick myself even more. I had caused his sister's death. Maybe not intentionally but I was the reason she killed herself. I opened my mouth to say something but shut it and hung my head refusing to look him in the eyes. "You're stupider than I gave you credit for Caspian." It wasn't what he said that made me snap my head up, but the heartbreaking shriek that came from Susan. She fell down in the middle of the doorway. Hugging her knees close and rocking back and forth sobbing that we were all having the same nightmare and we would laugh whenever we woke up.

Edmund was next and I knew he was probably taking it the hardest. He had always been the closest to Lucy, could pretty much tell you her very thoughts. When he came out he just walked over and clapped me on the back and offered a sad smile. He knew just like Peter had, but instead of anger towards me it was pity, and sympathy. I was about to go in her room when Aslan appeared in the doorway stopping me from going. He looked back to Lucy with tears in his eyes. He had loved Lucy the most; she was the firmest believer out of her siblings and loved Aslan unconditionally.

"Young Lucy wasn't supposed to leave like this." He said not even looking away from her. When he did turn to me he just closed his eyes and let a tear roll down his cheek. "She's happy now Caspian, she sends her love for everyone." That's enough; I pushed past her and ran into Lucy's room. She looked like she had died while sleeping. I stroked her hair and gave a sad smile before letting the sobs break out loud. She was really gone, and this time Aslan couldn't bring her back, there would be no magic portal for her to go through to and from.

The following weeks got worse and worse. Liliandil wanted to completely move on from Lucy's death but that was completely impossible for me. She got so annoying I decided closing myself off from everyone would be the best. Saying I had affairs to attend to and lock myself in my study, I didn't even go out for meals anymore. Of course not seeing anyone was slowly driving me crazy. On numerous occasions I could have sworn I saw both Lucy and Susan, which is impossible seeing as how Susan was very much alive whenever she left here.

I don't know exactly what led me to going in Lucy's bathroom, hating my reflection and breaking the mirror. It seemed as if it was an out of body experience as I took the sharpest piece of glass and slit both wrist and for good measure jabbed it in my stomach. As things started to get darker I came to an odd glow. I realized I was sitting in the middle of a giant field.

"Hello Caspian." Looking up I saw…Lucy! But how? ….This was Aslan's country, she had made it and so had I. I scooped her up and twirled her around, laughing at her giggles. Sitting her down I stared at her before slowly pulling her in for a soft kiss. Something that should have been done a long time ago but I was too scared to do.

"I love you Lucy, I'm sorry I'm just now saying it." She smiled and kissed me again. Pulling away I heard three small chuckles. Susan, Aslan and…my father. He walked over and pulled me into a hug and clapped me on the back.

"You made a wonderful King son, though I didn't exactly approve of your Queen." I hung my head in shame, not wanting to meet his eyes. He put a hand underneath my chin forcing me to look at him. "But you made it right, and you have all of eternity to make it better." He was right I did, but the most important thing, was that I had Lucy now.


End file.
